You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
