Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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