so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize