Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
