If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
