he wants to bone in the snuggie
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
