Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
