whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
