I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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