A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
