you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize