Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
