All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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