Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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