Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
