You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
