But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
