idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
