either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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