I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
