super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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