i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
