you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
