I got chris browned last night
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
