I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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