This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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