just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
