With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
