I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
