my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
