I don't think brook has ever known best
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dignity is for republicans.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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