): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
