I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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