put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
