Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
