Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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