i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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