I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
