I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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