Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
