Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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