I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
