sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
