The maid of honor just puked.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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