This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
