i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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