Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
