would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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