I have demons in me.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize