please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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