So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
