he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The power of my boobs compel you
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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