you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize