i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
