Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When are your genitals available?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize