i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
