Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
