she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
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