You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
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