Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
