he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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