I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
