Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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