Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
