It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's Friday. Sex?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
