Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So many bounce houses so little time
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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