I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
