what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
