I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize