We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize