Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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