I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
