Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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