I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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