Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
