We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
